I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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