You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Its about making memories worth repressing
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found the puke drawer
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
