Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Still dying that you shit outside
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
