around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
