You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
