If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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