I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
