I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
