I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
