I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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