did you get engaged???
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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