nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
