Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
