The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
