Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
