She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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