this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
