just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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