I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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