You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
