you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They took my balls.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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