I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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