hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
