Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize