It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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