i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
