how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
