what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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