Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
