I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize