I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize