just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
