No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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