ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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