If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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