i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
