how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
