He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
