paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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