please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
