I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
