now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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