I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
