i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize