OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
