If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
