I didn't shave. On purpose
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
