Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
