Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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