I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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