Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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