i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
