This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
