Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
