Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize