I'm going to rape someone's good day.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
