She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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