I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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