Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
