I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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