I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize