Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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