Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
