i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
