Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
