he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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