Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
